Tuesday, November 21, 2017

legacies

legacies. 

what are legacies?

lin-manuel miranda described it in hamilton as "it's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see." 

well, my papaw left a legacy. my papaw was a great man. God-fearing and honest. a man who would tell you how it is. a democrat in Indiana. papaw was a good man. 

i'm still reeling. 

unable to cry. unable to break down. i don't cry much.  i cried when i broke down to my friends. but yet i haven't cried about my papaw yet. i don't know why. 

maybe its because i haven't coped with it. maybe if i go to their house later, ill expect to see him. 

see him in that big old recliner, tv louder than normal, changed to the hunting channel. or maybe at his dining room table, drinking his coffee in a dinky little cup. 

i miss you, papaw. enjoy heaven. you're more than virtually alright. 

always forward, 

nate


Wednesday, October 4, 2017

onwards.


hey.

so it's been a while. a long time. 

I want to tell a story. the story ive been dealing with for the past few months.

so there was this girl. a girl that I fell for hard. her name was jaysea. things were good and pure starting out, us being friends. then things developed. by spring break she knew I liked her in that way. there was hope, there was light.

then came the rest of spring. she became cold, distant. and I worried. but I persisted with life. life must go on, right? I pushed the fear and worry down.

then came the day she left me behind without saying goodbye. and I cried. for maybe the first time in a long time, I cried.

summer rolled around and I continued to worry. she never responded to texts. it began to creep into my mind that it was my fault. and so that became a burden on my mind that sent me careening downhill. and I kept in inside. because my friends were struggling a lot more than I was. depression, anxiety...these things were worse than a broken heart so why not try and smile for them? 

it didn't help.

this past sunday, I was at work. I broke down. work, the stress and worry, dealing with personal issues unrelated to family. it all just came out and I burst out in a group chat. I broke down.

I stayed away from my friends. didn't want to burden them. so I hid away. away from everything. blocked out the noise and realized I was alone.

yesterday, I finally talked. talked to my friends. and they helped me.

being okay isn't mandatory. its cliche but its okay to not be okay.

this isn't anything related to religion either. I still believe and love God. this was a case of me holding it in because I didn't want to worry anyone. 

talk to people. don't be afraid to let things go. its a thing I'm struggling to do myself. but don't do what I did and hold it in. you only open yourself to worse things.

so where am I? moving forward, letting go. with the help of friends and God. 

but never afraid to love. 

always forward,

nate

Saturday, December 31, 2016

An Addon

Also, apparently I'm supposed to give EU visitors a notice that cookies are used on this site. So that's awesome.

Happy New Year!

Nathaniel

P.S. send some French food to me asap pls thanks

Reflections

Hey, everyone! 

So, I know it's been a long time inbetween posts. I'd love to be a little more consistent when I can, but I've had no time inbetween my work as a shift manager at McDonald's (I made it!) and school as a freshman at the University of Montevallo (PV!). 

So...this year has been interesting. I'm not going to focus on the celebrity deaths, as those are already covered by better writers than myself. But rather, I'd like to take some time and reflect on what this year was for me.

The good:

~Promotion. Becoming a shift manager was really great for me. I enjoy my job.
~College. I love my university. The people in it and the scenery around it. I can't wait to go back and start the road to sophomore year and a Purple Victory!
~Friends. Speaking of people, I made some really great friends this year. I enjoy their company and am grateful for them.

The bad:

~Work: There's some stuff I'd rather not deal with at work (i.e. drama). Work is great, it could just do without drama.

As I look on it, I've definitely had more good this year than bad. Yes, the death of celebrities is bad, and I'm not looking forward to President Trump, but as I've been saying a lot this year: God's got this. The Lord gives and He takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord.

Here's to 2017. To a better year for some, and a even better one for others.

Nathaniel

Monday, June 13, 2016

With Love

Hello all. Sorry for no posts, but life has been hectic lately. But what brought me out of a slump was the recent news from Orlando. In case you haven't heard, first, a young singer and personal role model of mine, Christina Grimmie was shot and killed Friday. Secondly, there was a shooting early yesterday morning at the Pulse gay nightclub, which is the worse mass shooting in America and the worse terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. 

I want to extend my sympathies to the families of all the victims. My heart breaks for all of the lives lost. I mourn for Christina. Such an innocent and beautiful life cut short by the actions of a deranged man. She had so much more to do here, but I rejoice that she is in Heaven with God. No more pain, no more sorrow, just peace. The Grimmie family has been on my heart for the last few days since the attack. I never knew Christina personally, nor did I ever meet her. I always wanted to...but I'll never get that chance ever again, and I regret that I never could see her. But I was, and always will be Team Grimmie. Always. 

I mourn for the 50 lives lost in the nightclub shooting. Regardless of your religion and beliefs, these were lives lost by a terrorist attack. Let's not go into religion wars, because that's not needed right now. What is needed? Prayers. Action. Let's not have this happen ever again. 

I titled this post "With Love" after Christina's song of the same name, and I think love is still the best response we can have. 

With love, 

Nathaniel

Friday, January 8, 2016

New Year

Hey, guys!

Sorry for not posting since September. It's been incredibly hectic for me. In August, I got a job at McDonald's, so that cut into my blogging time. 

First of all, Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all enjoyed the holiday with friends and family. I had to work both days, so meh, but whatever. xD 

So, what have we to look forward to this upcoming year?

I go to college in the fall. I was supposed to go last year, but ended up missing the deadline, so I ended up going for a gap year as the British call it. I'm really looking forward to it and hoping it'll go well. 

We have many superhero movies coming out this year. Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Suicide Squad. Yes, I'm happy. Plus Rogue One and Star Trek Beyond both come out too, so that makes me happy as well. 

I recently got a PS4 in October or so. It's pretty great and I think Sony has a good system. Still miffed about what they've done to the PS Vita, but I'm still going to support them.

Finally, my family and I finally found a good church in Pelham, AL. I think it's a great fit for us and I think it's going to stick. We know some of the people there, and it's a good enough amount that we don't feel lost in the crowd, exactly. 

So, that's somewhat a recap of the last few months. How were yours? I pray that in this New Year, God continues to bless each and every one of you, and that He continues to lead you wherever you may go!

(Also, I'll probably end up blogging on my birthday. Don't expect it too much.)

~Nate

Monday, September 7, 2015

Just a quick thought...

Didn't feel like writing a full blog tonight. May be writing one later tomorrow, but for now, just some thoughts on Kim Davis...

Funny how Christians choose to love Romans 12:2. You know, the whole "be ye not conformed..." verse? They love to apply this to politics and all of this. Might I add that Romans 13 is completely about authorities, including the first verse which is "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God." 

In other words, no matter how much people hate the SCOTUS ruling, it was determined by the authorities. Therefore, Kim Davis was wrong. I know Christians know God has a plan for everyone and everything---including the United States. He wouldn't have allowed it without it being in His plan for His glory. 

"But Nathaniel, Kim Davis is being persecuted for doing God's work!" 

No. It doesn't work that way. See, the position Kim Davis held (I say held because to the best of my knowledge, she is still in jail) was one of which she was voted into. As such, she can only be impeached to be removed now. 

Wonder where I'm going with this? 

Who else holds a position like this?

The President. And you know what? What does the President do before officially becoming the President on Inauguration Day? He takes the oath of office

Just like Kim Davis took a oath of office for her position. See, because when you take an oath of office, no matter the position, you are supposed---no, EXPECTED to keep your beliefs to yourself, no matter what. So when Kim Davis began forcing her beliefs on the State of Kentucky, then I fully believe---and support---the actions of the judge who removed her temporarily. 

See, I fully support Christians in office---but if you take an oath of office, then you need to uphold that law and/or ruling above your beliefs. 

Maybe that's just me though. I find it funny that Kim Davis, who has divorced three times, is being held up as the standard for Christianity. 

I'm tired now, so good night. 

~Nate