tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27634370822279118402024-03-28T23:28:38.573-04:00A Door to The LightWelcome to A Door to The Light! A collection of musings from a Democrat in a Republican state, just musing about whatever floats my boat. Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-27878456457182087472023-08-19T22:35:00.003-04:002023-08-19T22:35:28.999-04:00you’re on your own, kid.<p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;">it’s been several weeks since i cut off my parents.</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 17px;"> </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i wish i could say it’s been easy.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i miss speaking with them. sharing with them the cool things happening in my life, in my fiancée’s life, in our daughter’s life.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i’ve missed their birthdays. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i surround myself with the love of my fiancée, the love of my daughter, of her family and my friends. it heals the pain somewhat.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i broke my no contact with my parents. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">not for fun. not to run back. no. simply to ask that they allow a sibling to watch over our pets while we vacation in a few months. it was a professional email, outlining responsibilities, remaining polite, in spite of their rudeness.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">their response in front of that sibling?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">my mother laughed. not much i can say there. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">my father, the one i hoped for reconciliation the most, the one who i missed the most; he called it “the stupidest thing he’s ever read.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">his response to me, over email? “it’s nice to hear from you and I pray your family is doing well.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">this is why we can’t have nice things.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">now i wonder.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">how long did it take for them to mock me behind my back? how long have they been doing it? have i always been made fun of by them, have they always talked bad about me? how long ago did they stop considering me their son?</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">the worse part about it is that god help me, a small part of me wants my dad back in my life. i don’t ever know if i can ever forgive my mother. i don’t ever want my daughter to be alone with that woman.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">but my dad, man. he was the one who got me into comics and superheroes, one of the things i love most in this world besides my fiancée and my daughter. i’ll never forget my father being such a calm man growing up. he was the pinnacle of fatherhood to me, someone whose calm demeanor i wanted to emulate with my daughter.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">now those memories are tainted. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">and i will never get those back. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">part of me still holds out hope for him. that maybe one day, he and i will see each other again. have a stupid joking conversation about the three stooges, or about the green arrow, or get to show him how my daughter finally said “da da” today. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">but i will not run to him first. he will need to repair the bridge first. and show he has changed. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">only then can he be trusted.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">until then…</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">“you’re on your own, kid.”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">~nate</span></p>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-37993353653344533122023-07-07T20:34:00.002-04:002023-07-07T20:34:32.332-04:00coda.<p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"> </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">coda: a concluding event, remark, or section.</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">we began anew.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">as you know, i went no contact with my parents on july fourth. i will not lie. it has been the absolute hardest thing to not run to unblock them. to not try and run back, accept what they say is true. how could a child abandon their parents first? </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">no. i will not break. i will not bow.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">we went to my mother-in-law’s home the next day for a cookout to celebrate july fourth. while there, it hit me. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">i’m never going to get to celebrate my mother’s birthday with her again. </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">i'll never get to sing her a happy birthday, or buy her a gift, or tell her how happy I was to have her in my life.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">it continued to hit me. dad’s birthday. their anniversary. thanksgiving. christmas. new year’s. my birthday. my daughter’s birthday.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">no more celebrating. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">but then i remembered.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i remembered how my mother-in-law accepted me as part of the family from day one.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i remember how there was no judgment when i began dating my fiancée. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">how much her family loved me, and how little my parents loved her.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">my siblings? what an amazing support system. consistently there for me. consistently there for us. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i smiled.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">what an absolute coda to a painful saga.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">how amazing to end a painful parental relationship on the date of independence. how appropriate that life moved forward on the birthdate of one who caused the most pain. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">my mother. perfect, can do no wrong. </span><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">in her eyes. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">one day maybe a new saga will begin anew. one in which my parents will see the sins they’ve committed. one in which they apologize profusely. one in which forgiveness and kindness reign, just a little while longer. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">but for now, as the spider-man said,</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">nah, imma do my own thing.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">~nate </span></p><p><span style="font-family: verdana;"><br /></span></p>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-86724522443563803872023-07-04T19:13:00.001-04:002023-07-04T19:17:54.722-04:00abyssinia.<p> <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-size: 17px; font-style: italic;">Abyssinia: slang from the 1920s-1930s for goodbye</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">hello there.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">usually i’d make a return post to this blog. something upbeat, like “Hi! Everything is going well! Catch you all later!” and then go missing for three years. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">this blog’s not gonna be one of those. this is really a serious post. if you’re seeing this, you got linked by my facebook post, so you were meant to see this, more so because you’re either family or mutual friends.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">today i officially cut off contact from my mother and father. i have a litany of reasons why i made this decision. some stemming from my parents’ mistreatment of my fiancée, the mother of my daughter, the love of my life. others coming from decisions and statements they’ve made. i won’t go into too much, simply because i know in my head and in my heart that this post will eventually make it to my parents somehow. the grapevine grows and twists ever slowly, you see, and i will not give them any reason to come down on others. i also know this will be taken as proof to them that they were right. that i am but a petulant child, complaining about how easy i had it when i was growing up. i promise you this is not the case and that i had given them chance after chance to converse and to fix where our relationship as parents and child fractured. i cannot be responsible for those who cannot be open and understanding. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">instead, i want to grieve. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i grieve for my daughter and future children, who will never fully know my parents. sure, they met in the hospital, and my daughter has met my father once afterwards. but they’ll never know the good side of the parents i had growing up. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">they’ll never know the kind heart of my father, slow to anger, slow to judge, who taught me how to be a gentle and good man in a world full of andrew tates and donald trumps. a man who showed me wonders and marvels and flourished a love for the art of the comics at a young age. a man who i was proud to call dad.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">they’ll never know my mother, my mother who survived the loss of her father. my mother who gave me life and taught me when she could have </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">very well sent me off to public school. my mother who eschewed the love of a god and his son. my mother who took the kind courtesy of sending my fiancee flowers when she found out we were having a baby.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">but.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">they’ll never know my father, who judged me, judged their mother. they’ll never know the man who made jokes at my expense, never apologizing. they’ll never know my father, the man who, in the end, turned down a chance to make things right and know them. the father who decided a baby shower was less important than a play.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">they’ll never know my mother, a self-righteous woman who judged my fiancée from day one. the mother who makes horrible statements about races and communities i care about. the mother who told me directly that she “hates that pronouns crap”. the mother that came to a shower celebrating her family and the soon-to-arrive granddaughter and yet didn’t participate, only making her distain for being there known. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">my daughter will never fully know the people who raised me to be who i am, both the good that i saw growing up, and the bad i see now.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i grieve for the memories and interactions they would have had. getting to go to grandma and grandpa billings’ house, like my siblings and i got to travel to my great-grandparents’ house in indiana. getting to know my parents and getting to see their love for my daughter and for those children that may or may not be. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">i grieve for the happy family we once were. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">on some small level, i still love my parents. I love the memories i have of them and of growing up having them lead me. but i cannot love what they have become. how they have treated my fiancée. how they have treated me. i have to protect my family. i have to protect them. I have to protect my peace. I have said what i have wanted to say. i will say no more.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">we will never see eye-to-eye on anything. I am sure i have never been a perfect son. i am sure i have done wrong. i’m sure there is something they use to justify their actions. i take responsibility for my wrong doings, and for that i apologize. but i will not apologize for loving and protecting my family. i will not.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">abyssinia; i first saw this word because of a show my parents loved that they passed down to me. it means “goodbye”; if you pronounce it ab-ee-SIN-ee-ah, it’s like saying “i’ll be seeing you”. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">abyssinia, mother.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;">abyssinia, father. </span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s2" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;">“what is love, but grief perservering?” ~vision, wandavision</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 22px;"><span class="s1" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleItalicBody; font-style: italic;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">~nate</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-feature-settings: normal; font-kerning: auto; font-optical-sizing: auto; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 17px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-variant-position: normal; font-variation-settings: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px;"><span class="s3" style="font-family: UICTFontTextStyleEmphasizedItalicBody; font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">p.s.: please do not harass my parents. they will more than likely ignore this, and i know the level of harassment on this will be low but please don’t add any more fuel to the fire they’re throwing on me. </span></p>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-27528218566367557472020-12-29T22:26:00.000-05:002020-12-29T22:26:00.439-05:00Face Your Fears; or How I Learned to Love 2020<p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;"> Howdy, folks.</span></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">Welcome back to my relative corner of the universe, where I don't update this as much as I probably should. Actually, I've been that way for social media for most of the past couple of years; while I'm more active on Reddit, TikTok, Twitter, and Snapchat, my Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, and LinkedIn stay relatively quiet, aside from the random "pissing-off-my-conservative/Trumper-friends-and-family" posts. But that's also what's helped me survive a lot of my 2020. </span></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">Let's be honest: 2020 sucked. It sucked at the beginning of the year, when we (meaning the collective world) didn't prepare enough for a small little virus coming out of the Wuhan province to when one of the world's greatest athletes passed away in an accident that was preventable. It sucked in the middle of the year, as we all had to adapt to new social changes in the wake of the virus that grew to kill more than 300,000 Americans at a time, to the righteous rage of those following the tragic and senseless death of George Floyd by Derek Chauvin and the three other officers, along with the death of Breonna Taylor, whose senseless murder still lacks proper justice, as does Mr. Floyd's. It sucked during autumn, when people began fights over supposed "voter fraud" and we lost beloved celebrities, especially the one and only Chadwick Boseman (wakanda forever <3). And it sucked at the conclusion, where the President refuses to concede to his loss, we still lose people no matter what, and the world readies to embrace a new year. </span></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">You know what? I can't complain too much. Certainly the year has sucked. But there have been five major things in my life that has made my life so much better: </span><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span> 1) I got engaged to the love of my life, my forever, Maggie, and it couldn't have been better. </span><br /></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">2) Maggie and I moved in together, our first time, and while things haven't gone smoothly, it's a learning experience that we can take with us. </span><br /></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span> 3) I graduated from the University of Montevallo, with a Bachelor's in History w/ a Minor in Business. While I may not have graduated with any real top honors, I proved myself worthy of a degree. </span><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span><span> 4) I changed jobs into a new career that I really enjoy, and I'm learning new skills everyday.</span><br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span><span><span> 5) I got a new car, a 2020 Ford EcoSport SE! It holds all my work equipment and I get good mileage. </span><br /></span></span></span></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">There are many things to be grateful for; but for real, I'm just wanting 2021 to be a better year for everyone; hopefully it will be. The vaccines for COVID-19 are being distributed. We have a new President and hopefully if we gain control of the Senate, then we can actually enact real change. And for my personal life, I'm looking into new things and new experiences. You only turn 24 once, so let's see what's gonna happen. </span><br /></p><p> <span style="font-family: helvetica;">Fair winds and following seas,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: helvetica;"><span> Nathaniel</span><br /></span></p>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-44684472394613599632020-08-14T23:55:00.002-04:002020-08-14T23:55:50.640-04:00Life ChangesHello, world! <div><br /></div><div>It's obviously been a while and although no one reads this, I find it nice to word vomit on this every now and then, maybe as a form of therapy? Reflection maybe? I don't know, but I enjoy all of these. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maggie and I moved out of our parents' houses July 3, and it's been a learning experience for us, along with our roommates. It's been fun though, getting to encounter new situations. Some of those have been frustrating only for the reason of dealing with our new apartment complex and issues with that, like our air conditioning unit not working, but as long as I'm with Maggie, I'm as happy as can be. </div><div><br /></div><div>I'm also finally leaving McDonald's for a new job with Vivint. While I feel somewhat sad leaving McDonald's, I'm more relaxed and ready for the future, so I'm ready for the rest of the world to reveal itself, and I'm excited for the journey. </div><div><br /></div><div>After graduation, I really didn't have a clue about what I wanted to do except for marrying Maggie and spending the rest of our lives together. But now my world is looking up, and I can't complain. Sunshine's finally heading our way. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fair winds and following seas, </div><div><br /></div><div>Nathaniel</div>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-64540754643198240662019-10-29T20:08:00.003-04:002019-10-29T20:08:51.864-04:00Oh, Hey Again<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Oh hey, it's Blogger.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I haven't used this in a while. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I guess I gotta update this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So, what's happened to me since my last post? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I became a senior at the University of Montevallo. That's a shocking fact. It's been...inspiring, to say the least. I've been looking back on the past four years; the mistakes I've made, the friends I've made and lost... I've been through a lot. And I've honestly got regrets. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><i>Why did I do this? Could I have saved that friendship?</i> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Those types of questions haunt my mind sometimes. But realistically? For as many regrets I've had, I've got a lot more successes. I've got friends that would have my back. I've made connections and found an idea of my future ahead of me. I've defined my beliefs, some of which don't correlate with my previous positions on this blog. I'll get into that later. But college has been the best experience for me, and I'll be sad to see it go in May. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">What else...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Oh!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I found my person. Her name is Maggie. We met while working at McDonald's (yes, I still work there), and she's been my girlfriend for a month. We've got a lot to go, but for now, I'm taking my time and enjoying her light in my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I guess that's it? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I don't know if this is being read anywhere. Maybe it's not. Maybe it is. But I'll try to get back on the blogging train. If you're interested again, welcome back. Just reading for the first time? Welcome! Hopefully I'll be back on track. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Fair winds and following seas, </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Nathaniel</span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-84692622815618854212017-11-21T11:43:00.001-05:002017-11-21T11:43:40.179-05:00legacies<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">legacies. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">what are legacies?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">lin-manuel miranda described it in hamilton as "it's planting seeds in a garden you never get to see." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">well, my papaw left a legacy. my papaw was a great man. God-fearing and honest. a man who would tell you how it is. a democrat in Indiana. papaw was a good man. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">i'm still reeling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">unable to cry. unable to break down. i don't cry much. i cried when i broke down to my friends. but yet i haven't cried about my papaw yet. i don't know why. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">maybe its because i haven't coped with it. maybe if i go to their house later, ill expect to see him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">see him in that big old recliner, tv louder than normal, changed to the hunting channel. or maybe at his dining room table, drinking his coffee in a dinky little cup. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">i miss you, papaw. enjoy heaven. you're more than virtually alright. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">always forward, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">nate</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"></span><br />Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-63653755066036782782017-10-04T11:54:00.000-04:002017-10-04T11:54:43.796-04:00onwards.<div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">hey.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">so it's been a while. a long time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";">I want to tell a story. the story ive been dealing with for the past few months.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms";"><div>
<br /></div>
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so there was this girl. a girl that I fell for hard. her name was jaysea. things were good and pure starting out, us being friends. then things developed. by spring break she knew I liked her in that way. there was hope, there was light.</div>
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then came the rest of spring. she became cold, distant. and I worried. but I persisted with life. life must go on, right? I pushed the fear and worry down.</div>
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then came the day she left me behind without saying goodbye. and I cried. for maybe the first time in a long time, I cried.</div>
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summer rolled around and I continued to worry. she never responded to texts. it began to creep into my mind that it was my fault. and so that became a burden on my mind that sent me careening downhill. and I kept in inside. because my friends were struggling a lot more than I was. depression, anxiety...these things were worse than a broken heart so why not try and smile for them? </div>
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it didn't help.</div>
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<br /></div>
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this past sunday, I was at work. I broke down. work, the stress and worry, dealing with personal issues unrelated to family. it all just came out and I burst out in a group chat. I broke down.</div>
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I stayed away from my friends. didn't want to burden them. so I hid away. away from everything. blocked out the noise and realized I was alone.</div>
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yesterday, I finally talked. talked to my friends. and they helped me.</div>
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being okay isn't mandatory. its cliche but its okay to not be okay.</div>
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this isn't anything related to religion either. I still believe and love God. this was a case of me holding it in because I didn't want to worry anyone. </div>
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<br /></div>
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talk to people. don't be afraid to let things go. its a thing I'm struggling to do myself. but don't do what I did and hold it in. you only open yourself to worse things.</div>
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so where am I? moving forward, letting go. with the help of friends and God. </div>
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but never afraid to love. </div>
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<br /></div>
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always forward,</div>
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<br /></div>
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nate</div>
<br />
</span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-84478422341295512272016-12-31T12:17:00.000-05:002016-12-31T12:17:17.833-05:00An Addon<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span>Also, apparently I'm supposed to give EU visitors a notice that cookies are used on this site. So that's awesome. <br />
<br />
Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
Nathaniel<br />
<br />
P.S. send some French food to me asap pls thanks Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-37926633084436641132016-12-31T12:07:00.000-05:002016-12-31T12:07:33.378-05:00Reflections<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Hey, everyone! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So, I know it's been a long time inbetween posts. I'd love to be a little more consistent when I can, but I've had no time inbetween my work as a shift manager at McDonald's (I made it!) and school as a freshman at the University of Montevallo (PV!). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">So...this year has been interesting. I'm not going to focus on the celebrity deaths, as those are already covered by better writers than myself. But rather, I'd like to take some time and reflect on what this year was for me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">The good:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">~Promotion. Becoming a shift manager was really great for me. I enjoy my job.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">~College. I love my university. The people in it and the scenery around it. I can't wait to go back and start the road to sophomore year and a Purple Victory!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">~Friends. Speaking of people, I made some really great friends this year. I enjoy their company and am grateful for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">The bad:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">~Work: There's some stuff I'd rather not deal with at work (i.e. drama). Work is great, it could just do without drama. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">As I look on it, I've definitely had more good this year than bad. Yes, the death of celebrities is bad, and I'm not looking forward to President Trump, but as I've been saying a lot this year: God's got this. The Lord gives and He takes away; blessed be the name of the Lord. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Here's to 2017. To a better year for some, and a even better one for others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Nathaniel</span><br />
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span></div>
Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-10250972186570099712016-06-13T10:13:00.003-04:002016-06-13T10:13:31.220-04:00With Love<div>
Hello all. Sorry for no posts, but life has been hectic lately. But what brought me out of a slump was the recent news from Orlando. In case you haven't heard, first, a young singer and personal role model of mine, Christina Grimmie was shot and killed Friday. Secondly, there was a shooting early yesterday morning at the Pulse gay nightclub, which is the worse mass shooting in America and the worse terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11. </div>
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I want to extend my sympathies to the families of all the victims. My heart breaks for all of the lives lost. I mourn for Christina. Such an innocent and beautiful life cut short by the actions of a deranged man. She had so much more to do here, but I rejoice that she is in Heaven with God. No more pain, no more sorrow, just peace. The Grimmie family has been on my heart for the last few days since the attack. I never knew Christina personally, nor did I ever meet her. I always wanted to...but I'll never get that chance ever again, and I regret that I never could see her. But I was, and always will be Team Grimmie. Always. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I mourn for the 50 lives lost in the nightclub shooting. Regardless of your religion and beliefs, these were lives lost by a terrorist attack. Let's not go into religion wars, because that's not needed right now. What is needed? Prayers. Action. Let's not have this happen ever again. </div>
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I titled this post "With Love" after Christina's song of the same name, and I think love is still the best response we can have. </div>
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With love, </div>
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<br /></div>
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Nathaniel</div>
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Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-43203366699316510932016-01-08T12:11:00.001-05:002016-01-08T12:11:32.008-05:00New Year<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hey, guys!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry for not posting since September. It's been incredibly hectic for me. In August, I got a job at McDonald's, so that cut into my blogging time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First of all, Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all enjoyed the holiday with friends and family. I had to work both days, so meh, but whatever. xD </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, what have we to look forward to this upcoming year?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I go to college in the fall. I was supposed to go last year, but ended up missing the deadline, so I ended up going for a gap year as the British call it. I'm really looking forward to it and hoping it'll go well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have many superhero movies coming out this year. <i>Captain America: Civil War</i>,<i> Doctor Strange, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, </i>and <i>Suicide Squad.</i> Yes, I'm happy. Plus <i>Rogue One </i>and <i>Star Trek Beyond </i>both come out too, so that makes me happy as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I recently got a PS4 in October or so. It's pretty great and I think Sony has a good system. Still miffed about what they've done to the PS Vita, but I'm still going to support them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally, my family and I finally found a good church in Pelham, AL. I think it's a great fit for us and I think it's going to stick. We know some of the people there, and it's a good enough amount that we don't feel lost in the crowd, exactly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, that's somewhat a recap of the last few months. How were yours? I pray that in this New Year, God continues to bless each and every one of you, and that He continues to lead you wherever you may go!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Also, I'll probably end up blogging on my birthday. Don't expect it too much.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~Nate</span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-55280828862407358232015-09-07T00:23:00.002-04:002015-09-07T00:23:42.531-04:00Just a quick thought...<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Didn't feel like writing a full blog tonight. May be writing one later tomorrow, but for now, just some thoughts on Kim Davis...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Funny how Christians choose to love Romans 12:2. You know, the whole "be ye not conformed..." verse? They love to apply this to politics and all of this. Might I add that Romans 13 is completely about authorities, including the first verse which is "<i>Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established <b>by God</b>." </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In other words, no matter how much people hate the SCOTUS ruling, it was determined by the authorities. Therefore, Kim Davis was wrong. I know Christians know God has a plan for everyone and everything---including the United States. He wouldn't have allowed it without it being in His plan for His glory. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">"But Nathaniel, Kim Davis is being persecuted for doing God's work!" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">No. </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It doesn't work that way. See, the position Kim Davis held (I say held because to the best of my knowledge, she is still in jail) was one of which she was voted into. As such, she can only be impeached to be removed now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Wonder where I'm going with this? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Who else holds a position like this?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The President. And you know what? What does the President do before officially becoming the President on Inauguration Day? He takes the <i>oath of office</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Just like Kim Davis took a oath of office for her position. See, because when you take an oath of office, no matter the position, you are supposed---no, <b>EXPECTED</b> to keep your beliefs to yourself, no matter what. So when Kim Davis began forcing her beliefs on the State of Kentucky, then I fully believe---and support---the actions of the judge who removed her temporarily. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">See, I fully support Christians in office---but if you take an oath of office, then you need to uphold that law and/or ruling above your beliefs. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Maybe that's just me though. I find it funny that Kim Davis, who has divorced three times, is being held up as the standard for Christianity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm tired now, so good night. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">~Nate</span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-48848569623033174062015-08-27T22:46:00.003-04:002015-08-27T22:46:49.988-04:00Whatever Happened?<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hi guys. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sorry for not posting in a while. Life has been very hectic, both in my life and in the world.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel sad. Why? For America. Religious troubles aside, we cannot deny there is trouble in this country. So I want to kinda deviate from the usual and post about a song. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The song in question: MKTO's "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kps-944LSg"><i>American Dream</i></a>". I saw MKTO in concert a week or so ago. They're awesome. But that's beside the point. The concert introduced me to the song. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, here's the lyrics. I'm going to analyze them in sections.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's go.</span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do something with your life, do something with your life<br />Do something with your life, do something with your life<br />Do something with your life, do something with your life<br />Do something with your life, do something with your life<br />(Ooh) With your life, with your life, with your life"</span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is just your general statement. Do something. Don't let life pass you by. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>We broke down, trying to leave town</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Lying on the road to change</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>We were born to run, Cali here we come</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Escape from Nowhere, USA</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the bridge can be taken to be about small town kids (<i>Escape from Nowhere, USA)</i> wanting to be people, leaving their hometown. Innocent in a way, but remember: they're heading for California. When you think of California, what comes to mind? If you guessed "fame", then you're most likely correct. They're leaving their small town, looking for fame. </span></div>
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<i>Say good-bye to white picket fences</i></div>
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<i>Say hello to palm trees and Benzes</i></div>
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<i>They say you got to fall, to have it all</i></div>
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<i>And we don't want two kids and a wife</i></div>
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<i>I don't want a job, I just want a life</i></div>
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<i>Sometimes the underdogs rise, and the mighty fall (And the mighty fall!)</i></div>
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Here we go, the first verse. In this, we see the deconstruction of the American Dream as those who grew up in the 1950s-1960s knew it. (<i>Say good-bye to white picket fences, say hello to palm trees and Benzes)</i> To people my age and even sometimes older, the old "We'll survive on love and what little we can" routine is gone. Nowadays, we want more. We want more than just enough to live on. We can't live without our iPhones and the Internet. We crave our fast cars, our 21st century lifestyle.</div>
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<i>They say you got to fall, to have it all</i> says enough about it. Sometimes we do need to fall before we can truly stand up and claim what we earned. </div>
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As for <i>And we don't want two kids and a wife</i>, well...this too is explanatory in itself. That old "live together, happy-ever-after ending" is seen to some as just the ways of the old generation sometimes too. Kids today thrive on what's called their "side chicks" (read: One in a relationship is cheating on their SO with someone else) I think the recent Ashley Madison hack shows the consequences of that thinking. As a 18-year-old, I <b>want</b> that fantasy. I want to love and to be loved by someone. I want to carry on my legacy to my children when I have them someday. I want that old-fashioned dream. </div>
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<i>I don't want a job, I just want a life</i> is pretty big. Remember, we're examining the American Dream here. In the 1950s-1970s, you were expected to have a job, to provide for your family. Nowadays, kids want to live their dreams. While I support that for certain things, we cannot ignore that you cannot just drop everything and go for it. We need that job, not just for what it provides, but for what it teaches. It teaches responsibility. </div>
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<i>Sometimes the underdogs rise, and the mighty fall (And the mighty fall!) </i>is good. We as a society love to see the underdogs win. We want the modern-day Davids to win against their Goliaths. </div>
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And the chorus: </div>
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<i>This ain’t the same summer song that you used to know</i></div>
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<i>Cause Jack left Diane thirty years ago</i></div>
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<i>The world is spinning too fast for you and me</i></div>
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<i>So tell me whatever happened to the American dream?</i></div>
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Replace the lyrics "<i>summer song" </i>with American dream. This truly isn't the American Dream people once knew. </div>
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<i>Cause Jack left Diane thirty years ago</i> is both a statement and a reference to the John Mellencamp song <i>Jack and Diane, </i>which is another song talking about the American Dream. The statement, believe it or not, is the kicker. Jack left Diane? Divorce. Think about it. Divorce is horribly huge. Again, religious reasoning aside, my opinion is that people can't work it out. They aren't willing to suffer a short while for a lifetime of love. People, people, people, the only reason I would ever support divorce is in the case of adultery or physical, psychological, and/or emotional abuse. Otherwise, take the bullet. Work it out. We're never promised that once we're married, everything will be perfect.</div>
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<i>The world is spinning too fast for you and me/So tell me whatever happened to the American dream? </i>Indeed. What did happen to the American dream? It changed, as must all things save for God. Life changes. But that doesn't mean we should get rid of everything. </div>
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<i>I knew a girl, I met her last night</i></div>
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<i>She was fresh off the plane</i></div>
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<i>She whispered in my ear</i></div>
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<i>"Baby come here, I'll do anything to make a name."</i></div>
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What have we wrought? The last line is incredibly relevant to our time. To achieve fame, people will do anything. I bring you Anthony Riley. Name sound familiar? You might have heard him bust out <i>I Feel Good!</i> by James Brown on the Voice last season. He was amazing. You know what happened? He wanted to do anything to get famous. He ended up on a long and depressing road that led to him taking his own life a few months ago. Terrible, right? Think about other deceased celebrities. What happened? To some, fame was too stressful. (Robin Williams) Depression is harmful, but it's one of only many issues that fame brings. But look at my fellow teens. How many have wanted to be famous? A lot. Some make it, but they've maybe had to do things they didn't like to do. Sad, isn't it? Let's keep moving. </div>
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<i>Honey take my hand and follow me, cause</i></div>
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<i>I don't want to hurt you and he does</i></div>
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<i>I just want to give you some real advice</i></div>
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<i>Never take candy from stranger</i></div>
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<i>And keep your eyes open for danger</i></div>
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<i>Because this right here is a twisting paradise</i></div>
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Again, what have we wrought? In a world where anyone can step into a world and shoot children, or kill two newscasters because he felt he was mistreated... Why? The world is not a safe place anymore. (<i>Never take candy from stranger/And keep your eyes open for danger)</i> </div>
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That last line too..What does it mean by twisting paradise? Well, look at it from this way: We already established that the American Dream has changed. It has been twisted by perspectives. We all have our own ideas as to what the American Dream means to us personally. There's nothing wrong with that. But we must acknowledge that things are no longer as they were. Paradise has twisted. </div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>This ain't the same summer song that you used to know</i></span></div>
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<i>So baby let's live and die before we get old</i></div>
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<i>You know that nothing is the way it used to be</i></div>
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<i>So tell me whatever happened to the American dream</i></div>
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This part has changed. <i>So baby let's live and die before we get old </i>speaks to our generation so much too. Our mindset as a generation is built upon the idea that we need to live the best we can before we get too old to enjoy life to the fullest. I'm not denying that, it's pretty poignant. A lot of us do have that idea. But just because we grow old doesn't mean that we cannot live life to its' fullest. We can, but in different ways. </div>
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Finally, there's this: <i>You know that nothing is the way it used to be/So tell me whatever happened to the American dream.</i> Incredible, and it's the way I want to end this part of the post. We all know that society has changed. Look at the trends as of recently. Look at public opinion. This isn't the 1950s-era America, where we knew where our faith was, what we felt was right. </div>
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So, what happened? We changed as a nation. We changed as a world. We changed as a society. We became less focused on what was best to pursue what the world said was right. </div>
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I'm grateful to know Christ. I'm grateful to have that old set of morals instilled in me. I know that whatever the world says, I can ignore. The American Dream is still there. It's different for everyone, but we all just want to be who we are, do what we feel is right for us. </div>
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I think Captain America said it best: </div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Doesn't matter what the press says. Doesn't matter what the politicians or the mobs say. Doesn't matter if the whole country decides that something wrong is something right. This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll see you all later.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~Nathaniel</span></div>
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Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-56131441253614009942015-07-27T16:53:00.002-04:002015-07-27T16:53:28.786-04:00A War of All Against All<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hey guys, it's me again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, the Presidential election, huh? It's turning out to be a real clown car match so far, right? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As next year will be my first year as a voter in a election, I've wondered how I'm going to vote. Do I vote Democratic or Republican? Independent, even? I know it's corny, but people, our votes do matter. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As for the candidates...well, I'm not so optimistic about all of them. Case in point: Donald Trump. Yes, the man is charismatic. But he is NOT Presidential material, in my honest opinion. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's see what he's done:</span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alienated Hispanics by calling many Mexicans "rapists", then stating that there was a small amount that were good. (So basically his plan is to kick out any illegal immigrants)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Publicly stated that he liked "veterans who weren't caught", along with proclaiming that to him, John McCain was not a war hero. (Note that McCain technically started this by calling Trump supporters "crazies". </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gave out Sen. Lindsey Graham's phone number in response to Graham calling Trump a word reserved usually for the backside of a donkey.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Banned the <i>Des Moines Register</i> from press events due to an anti-Trump editorial. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, what have his actions caused? </span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many Latino celebrities have spoken out against Trump (from the young generation as an example, the young rapper Becky G released a song called "We Are Mexico".) Also, NBC and Univision have dropped Trump's Miss Universe pageant.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Republicans and Democrats have publicly denounced Trump's comments about McCain. (While I don't like McCain personally, I'll go ahead and say that he is a war hero; he was tortured for years, refusing to give up American military info, while Trump was dodging the draft. Take that into consideration when he starts swearing up and down that he'll give Vets the best things they need.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Graham responded in a video destroying his old phone. As for comments, I believe it is the same as the McCain offense. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The <i>Register</i> is trying to cover Trump again. Regardless of your thoughts on the banning, Trump just stopped reporters from trying to do their job. I realize there's the Internet, but still...Does this show Trump's position in the future towards the press? If it's not positive, you're banned?</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, the candidates aren't looking so great on either side still. I have...issues with Bobby Jindal (As a Christian, I am okay with religious liberty. But don't force your constituents who voted no on an act involving it to follow it via an executive order.), Jeb Bush (cause we need another Bush), Hillary Clinton (See Jeb.), Ted Cruz (Because attacking fellow politicians down on the floor is good for political savvy), and other candidates. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The title of this post comes from the Latin phrase "bellum omnium in omnes". It means, "A war of all against all". I truly hope and pray for the best in politics, but a lot of American politics involve dirty politics; scheming and insulting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We aren't <i>The West Wing</i>. There is no President Jed Bartlet and politics are not so nice and clean. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And yet, I believe in the good of politics. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been binging Parks and Recreation, and I find myself liking the character of Leslie Knope (played by the wonderful Amy Poehler). Leslie is a bright-eyed optimist who genuinely wants to make life better for her town. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe that's all we need. A Leslie Knope candidate in the race.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nathaniel</span></div>
Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-25444825624265434182015-07-09T13:24:00.001-04:002015-07-09T13:24:33.818-04:00The Confederate Donut-Licker<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Salutations, friends.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you'll recall, last post "<a href="http://adoortothelight.blogspot.com/2015/06/of-flags-and-lovewins.html">Of Flags and #LoveWins</a>" dealt with the Confederate flag. Apparently, some comments inspired me to make this post, along with the other news story (hence the Donut-Licker). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I'll kick things off again with the flag. This morning, I awoke to a post from my local ABC station telling me that the South Carolina House of Representatives had officially voted yes to remove the Confederate battle flag from the state capitol building, joining the SC Senate who had voted the same earlier in the week. Now, my initial thoughts? Good. As I said in my previous post, "I believe the only flags that should be flying at the capitol should be the United States flag and the state flag". That is still my position, still will be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">However, I do want to expand on my comments about heritage. In the Facebook comment feed on the station's post, most of the comments were of hate towards hate. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Let's put this into one point they've all had: "Heritage, not hate". </span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">The flag in itself is not hateful, but rather it is representative of a hate that seven states had when they decided to secede from the Union. Hate for the Republicans, who wanted to end the spread of slavery. Hate for those who the states felt that their rights were being trampled on. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Do I have an issue with those who claim heritage? No. If your ancestors were truly veterans of the Confederacy, then yes, by all means, display it as a monument to your family's history. But if you're campaigning for the flag to stay, then choose another reason, because everyone at this point must be tired of "heritage, not hate". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Personally, I feel that yes, the flag should be kept out of state buildings, but sold in stores for those who wish to display it. Any more, and no. This argument has gone on far too long, and for me, it's time that we realize what this flag represents. It represents a time when America was divided, when brothers fought and killed brothers, when we as a nation were violent towards one another. If you're fine with that, then by all means. Just don't be ignorant.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now onto the final part. Yesterday, Ariana Grande, former Nickelodeon star, singer of top 40 songs such as <i>Problem, One Last Time, </i>and <i>Love Me Harder</i>, was caught on tape licking donuts and stating that she hates America. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now, her response can be read <a href="http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2015/07/08/read-the-very-bizarre-apology-ariana-grande-issued-after-camera-caught-her-saying-she-hates-america/">here,</a> but here's what I have to say. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Is she free to an opinion? Yes, our First Amendment allows for this. However, I do have a bone to pick with her.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am slightly overweight. I do recognize that we as Americans have issues with weight. Do I believe that we should have a better program in place for health? Yes, but people don't realize that regular exercise will help one lose weight as well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But trying to place blame on obesity when you clearly lick a donut (perhaps one that the worker missed and ended up in someone's mouth)? That's a fail.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I like Ariana's songs, but I have never liked her as a person due to oversexualization (ironically she wrote a statement a while ago about celebrities and that very subject). Her career will most likely survive this; but don't expect anyone to like her as much now. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There's an old saying in Latin:<i> </i></span><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito. Yield not to misfortunes, but advance all the more boldly against them. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito </i>indeed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">~Nate</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-7023118206999690732015-06-05T20:39:00.001-04:002015-06-05T20:39:37.331-04:00Heroes and Villains<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hey all! </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Boy, am I active this week with blogging. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I thought of something interesting this past week. One of my best friends suggested I watch the show <i>Once Upon A Time</i>. I accepted and watched all the seasons on Netflix, then finished the 4th season on Hulu. And I had a thought. <b>(WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR SEASON FOUR. IF YOU WISH TO REMAIN UNSPOILED, PLEASE SKIP TO THE END OF THE POST OR LEAVE THE PAGE)</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One of the main points this past season was about has been the idea of happy endings. (i.e. Rumplestiltskin's quest for the villains and their happy endings, Regina dealing with her own quest while being allied with the heroes...) This was great because in a way, it allowed for character development with Regina, Ursula and Maleficent, allowing for redemption in the latter two's face, whereas the former has been on the path to redemption, along with Hook. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Another great thing has been the idea that the line between good and evil is not so clear. The idea is not new; <i>Captain America: The Winter Soldier</i>, as well as other countless films, tv shows, and books have dealt with the idea. However, <i>Once Upon a Time </i>took a slight twist on it. This season, mostly through the second half, introduced the thought of the heroes not being as light as one would think, as in Snow and Charming's quest to rid the unborn Emma's potential for darkness by transferring it to Lily. While this is not new, the show mainly used this as a way to illustrate the idea of redemption again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Like I said, the idea of black and white vs shades of moral greys is not new. Neither is redemption. But look at what God has done in the lives of believers. "</span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">As far as the east is from the west, </span><i style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">so</i><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><b> far hath he removed our transgressions from us.</b>" (Psalms 103:12, KJV) From there people can choose to redeem themselves with God's help.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Look at Paul. Look at Peter. Look at David even, a man after God's own heart. All three were redeemed. For Paul, it took a meeting on the road to Damascus. For Peter, he prayed for forgiveness. For David, he repented. Sin has consequences. David lost his son with Bathsheba. Peter, after he had heard the rooster cry, "<b>wept bitterly</b>". (Matthew 26:75, KJV) </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">For Regina this season, her redemption came because she chose to follow the path of good. Yes, God had no effect on her redemption (because of the show's mythology). However, she was like Paul in a way: Both were persecuting people for something they've done in a way (For Paul, it was Christians. For Regina, it was Snow White after the death of Daniel). Both found forgiveness from those who were persecuted. And both did good. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Maybe you'll get something out of this post. Maybe you won't. But realize that you don't have to be a villain who's done wrong. All have done wrong at some point in your life. It's something we were all born with. We all came into the world with sin. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">But just like Emma, there's a Savior. His name is Jesus. If you want, I can introduce you. :)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">~Nate</span></div>
Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-72768470361773863642015-06-02T21:48:00.001-04:002015-06-02T22:36:24.254-04:00The Truth<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hello again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">This is something I needed to get off my chest. To those who simply read this, take it as someone who feels as if he's lost a friend. Take it if you are like me: you've lost someone you've trusted. You feel hurt, perhaps hurting for a while like I have been. If you must, use it. Feel free to change what you need in order to have it fit. Here it is:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>You. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Maybe you don't know this. Maybe you do. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Whatever the case, this is my confession. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>When we first met, I never believed I could have a friend like you. You and I had the same things in common. Christ, comic books, movies, books...we were brothers in Christ. And still are, unless you, by some unknown way, have lost your way, but I believe you have not. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>But our friendship has. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I have been silent these past few months, speaking with you only by you reaching out. At first, I told myself that I was simply letting you be, letting you live.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Only now, I have realized why I have remained silent. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>It is because you have replaced me with another brother. I understand that even best friends have more than one friend, even more than one best friend. I get that, feel that even. But you left me. You took our friendship and dropped it. You...look, I've forgiven you. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>But you DON'T understand that it hurt me. It hurts me to see you call another "brother". You left me to just...not have anyone besides my parents and God to vent to. I found people though. My good and wonderful friends. My BEST friends, who have never forsaken me, who have stuck by me. One in particular has been one to trust. One to vent to. She has taken that burden upon herself, and I thank her for that.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>And I found hope. Literally. Someone who I can trust to be there. She has taken your place. She is my friend, one of my best friends. We have so much in common, it is almost like you are there...but you aren't. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So this is it. We will see each other on Facebook. We will see each other on other parts of social media. But we will only be friends, nothing more, nothing less. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>They say the truth hurts, that it is brutal yet undeceitful. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I wish I could say it doesn't hurt, that I know I've forgiven you beyond a shadow of a doubt. But I cannot.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Instead, I hope it hurts. Only to show you the pain you've done to me. And who knows, maybe you'll realize that. Maybe we can begin anew. But you deserve to know the truth. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Farewell. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>~Nate</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-80823193891698906552014-07-10T22:54:00.001-04:002014-07-10T22:54:39.629-04:00Updates<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Sorry to be away, guys. Life, as always, is chaotic in all it's ways, and I've not had time to respond. </i></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>First off, some housecleaning.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>You've probably noticed the new name and description. As stated, with age comes maturity, and this blog has to reflect on that. When I first started this blog, it was known as "Life of a Christian Preteen". Then it was "Life of a Christian Teenager". But I hope to keep this blog going as long as I can keep it, even with the infrequent updates. And I'll be an adult soon. So I have to prepare for that. The name, "A Door to the Light" comes from the video game "Kingdom Hearts". (Awesome series if you've never played it. HD 1.5 ReMIX is available for PS3) In it, Mickey Mouse, the King of Disney Castle (A world in the series), tells Donald and Goofy, "There will always be a door to the light." In a way, Christianity can be like that. The light is God, and the Door to the Light is Christ, as "no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me." (John 14:6 KJV). But this quote has a meaning to me too. The light is always present; and no matter what, even if darkness has blinded you, there will always be that door to the light.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Secondly, this blog is going to have stuff. Not so much as updates, but my opinion on things. Expect a blog on a modern song that is one of my pet peeves to come soon. I might post game reviews too, and do music selections of the week. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Alright, I think that's it for now. The next post will be about the song "Rude" by MAGIC, and why it's a pet peeve of mine.</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Until later...</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>Nate </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i><br /></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b><i>(Also, shameless plug; I host a blog for a series that my awesome APUSH friends and I wrote. Come check it out; we're currently in the early beginnings of the third story: Descent into Darkness, written by yours truly. <a href="http://www.apushstories.blogspot.com/">APUSH Stories</a>)</i></b></span></div>
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Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-36833729986148049772013-10-09T19:36:00.000-04:002013-10-09T19:36:11.444-04:009/9/13: Hello Once Again...Well, hello once again, everyone! As you know, I'm Nathaniel, the illustrious writer of this blog. I apologize for not keeping up with said blog. Life has been chaotic, and I'm sure it's been chaotic for you all as well.<br />
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Let me get you guys up to speed on my life. First off, I started an AP United States History course through Patrick Henry Preparatory College. I have made a great group of friends through that and I hope that they will read it.<br />
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Secondly, my father returned from a lengthy tour of service in Afghanistan. We are so proud of him and are glad to have him home.<br />
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Thirdly, We received orders to return back to the National Capital Region, AKA Washington D.C. While sad to leave Alabaster, we will return soon, so that's comforting.<br />
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Fourthly, I have some stories in the pipeline! I'm considering opening up a new blog to cover that. I might set up a FanFiction account as well to assist here, plus make a FictionPress account unless they are one and the same, in which I will be posting original stories there as well.<br />
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That should be it in terms of where I am in terms of my life. Sound off in the comments below if I should either make a FanFiction/FictionPress account or post my stories here in a blog format.<br />
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Nathaniel<br />
<br />Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-38683272878538128702012-11-20T18:26:00.004-05:002012-11-20T18:26:57.658-05:00Catching Fire logoHey, Nathaniel here.<br />
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If you're a Hunger Games fan, then you're going to love this. This is the Hunger Games: Catching Fire logo. Can't wait for November 22nd, 2013!<br />
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See ya later,
NathanielNathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-59773084928376511832012-11-01T00:14:00.000-04:002012-11-01T00:14:12.055-04:00Halloween and the Hunger GamesWow. I really need to get back to blogging.<br />
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Well, today was Halloween, or as it is also known as All Hallow's Eve. But I didn't celebrate. Why, you might ask? Because I don't believe that it's good, or Christian. But that's my belief.<br />
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Also, the Hunger Games. I was watching it (continuing in the morning.) and I love this series, regardless of all the "OMG, Suzanne Collins stole from Battle Royale" detractors. Please, if she did, then please explain to me WHY your FB comments are going to make her feel guilty. Seriously? She said that it's a futuristic retelling of the myth of Theseus.<br />
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Well, don't know when I'll post again but, goodbye!<br />
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Nathaniel<br />
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(P.S. READ THE MARK OF ATHENA.)Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-44479450386949444072012-05-31T18:22:00.000-04:002012-05-31T18:22:33.461-04:00Back to BloggingUgh. I hate it when I don't update, but I need to get into the habit.<br />
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What's Happening-<br />
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-Me and my family's been reading Oliver Twist and posting our thoughts on our blog! (<a href="http://www.billingsfamilybookclub.blogspot.com/">www.billingsfamilybookclub.blogspot.com</a>) So come read with us!<br />
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- Going to youth camp on June 11th, so I'll be taking pictures and posting them here. and Blogging about it after I get home on the 15th.<br />
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- Just did a play.<br />
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Well, goodbye for now! And May the odds be ever in your favor! Twelfth Legion Fulminata!<br />
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NathanielNathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-13455529588816426202011-11-28T20:31:00.001-05:002011-11-28T21:03:59.712-05:00Latest UpdatesWell, I need to start doing this more, but I'm gonna tell you what ended up happening.<br />
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1. I ended up not moving, so I'm in the same place, and still happy!<br />
2. I went to YouthQuake 2011, the fastest growing music festival in the South, and saw Skillet!<br />
3. My Thanksgiving was awesome! <br />
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Well, this blog was short, but here's an ending quote from William Wallace about life.<br />
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<span class="body" style="background-color: white; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Every man dies. Not every man really lives.</span><br />
<span class="bodybold" style="background-color: white; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/w/williamwal185156.html" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #0000cc; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">William Wallace</a></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br /><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_life.html#ixzz1f3Qq5lQV" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px; color: #003399; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_life.html#ixzz1f3Qq5lQV</a>. </span><br />
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Well, goodbye, and see you later!</div>
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Nathaniel</div>
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P.S. There's this really awesome friend I have, that if you could follow her blog, that would be awesome!</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://www.grimglances.blogspot.com/">www.grimglances.blogspot.com</a></span></div>
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Check ya later!</div>
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Nathaniel</div>Nathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2763437082227911840.post-80638146259015249712011-09-27T22:40:00.000-04:002011-09-27T22:40:02.044-04:00DedicatedSo, I would like to dedicate this post to my best friends in AL:<br />
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You guys have been the best friends ever. We've hung out, and talked good. You guys are the best friends someone could ever have. You've been there for me, and you have been my best friends since I first came to Alabaster Church of God, and you'll always be my best friends.<br />
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So, take a bow, best friends. You deserve it.<br />
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NathanielNathanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03410363074335776250noreply@blogger.com0