Welcome to A Door to The Light!
This is where my life story will be chronicled.
I'm a Christian teenager, interested in video games, writing, and superheroes. The title of the blog used to be "Life of a Christian Teenager", but with growing up comes maturity, and thus the name change. But the content will be the same!
Wednesday, October 4, 2017
hey. so it's been a while. a long time.
I want to tell a story. the story ive been dealing with for the past few months.
so there was this girl. a girl that I fell for hard. her name was jaysea. things were good and pure starting out, us being friends. then things developed. by spring break she knew I liked her in that way. there was hope, there was light.
then came the rest of spring. she became cold, distant. and I worried. but I persisted with life. life must go on, right? I pushed the fear and worry down.
then came the day she left me behind without saying goodbye. and I cried. for maybe the first time in a long time, I cried.
summer rolled around and I continued to worry. she never responded to texts. it began to creep into my mind that it was my fault. and so that became a burden on my mind that sent me careening downhill. and I kept in inside. because my friends were struggling a lot more than I was. depression, anxiety...these things were worse than a broken heart so why not try and smile for them?
it didn't help.
this past sunday, I was at work. I broke down. work, the stress and worry, dealing with personal issues unrelated to family. it all just came out and I burst out in a group chat. I broke down.
I stayed away from my friends. didn't want to burden them. so I hid away. away from everything. blocked out the noise and realized I was alone.
yesterday, I finally talked. talked to my friends. and they helped me.
being okay isn't mandatory. its cliche but its okay to not be okay.
this isn't anything related to religion either. I still believe and love God. this was a case of me holding it in because I didn't want to worry anyone.
talk to people. don't be afraid to let things go. its a thing I'm struggling to do myself. but don't do what I did and hold it in. you only open yourself to worse things.
so where am I? moving forward, letting go. with the help of friends and God.